Whatever the BRIDE Wants

This afternoon I was sitting outside at work doing the usual caretaking when I overheard a phrase that quite frankly has always irked me;

" Whatever the BRIDE Wants"

This mentality has disturbed me so, because of

-now this might come off a little crass & of course you're free to disagree- 

how self centered & entitled it is.

The wedding and more importantly the MARRIAGE isn't nor should it be, solely about " whatever the bride wants"

Now I'll be the first to admit that this is a socially constructed mentality, continually fed to us by society ( so I understand how it has come to be) 

but just because it's a mentality that exists, 

doesn't mean it healthy, accurate, or worthy to be practiced.

As I recall our own engagement, leading up to the wedding day, I was bombarded with messages like this;

" What the Bride says goes ! " 

" What the Bride wants she gets" 

" Better do it the brides way or Bridezilla will come out"

"ALL eyes on the Bride, its HER day"

& of course " Whatever the Bride Wants"

* to which I have to say oh please SPARE ME *

I am not easily irate, it takes a lot to really push me over the edge,

so for a while I rolled my eyes & shook it off, 

but the straw that broke this camels back 

was when Greg said a variation of these phrases.

Mind you; he said so lovingly 

out of the genuine desire to please me & lavish me in love 

to give me the " dream" wedding

but the reality is;

WHO GIVES ABOUT A ME WEDDING?

I'm not marrying myself here. 

There may be an I in wedding, but more importantly so, theres a WE

In times of decicsion making people would say,

" It's not about others it's about you & the groom"

  

which is true to some extent & there are certainly boundaries that need to be set

BUT we're only a PART of that WE in WEDDING.

DEAR FUTURE BRIDES,

Let's get over ourselves & throw away any " I " mentality.

It's not about you,sorry not sorry.

Take your eyes off "I" & zero in that gaze of yours on Christ.

Figure out how on a day society reinforces "me, me, me" you glorify "He".

Additionally, it's not about how you want the cake food decor insert all the other 

 frivolous fru-fru that is all well & good, but isn't necessary.

This planning process is the beginning of a new season of life,

as you step into being A TEAM forever

So this just in, the time to think WE, 

started the moment you said "yes" at the proposal

( unless you proposed to the groom as the bride to which I totally respect)

DEAR FUTURE GROOMS,

WE WANT YOU 

 - or at least I can speak for myself GREG I WANT YOU-

your opinions 

& decisions 

matter to me .

 I love the way you think

 so of course I value/want your input !

FAMILY& FRIENDS ( a.k.a.  beloved guests),

Though our decisions aren't made FOR you

-decisions made revolve around praising Jesus & representing us-

WE keep you in mind, WE care about you.

It's a privilege to have you here & consider you on this day.

ALL this to say;

 Marriage is beautiful & a WEdding

 is such as sweet way to celebrate stepping into this major life change.

 But if there's even the slightest hint of a high horse in you,

heres to hoping these words of mine knock you right off it.

For your approach/attitude on your wedding day,

can subconsciously  be quite reflective of the approach/attitude

 towards life that your marriage will be.

Greg & I chose to keep the WE in wedding by;

-giving Jesus center stage for a while

-making decisions geared towards making our guests comfortable

- being secretive ( until now) about donating a portion of our wedding $ to an NGO

- entrusting our artists (florists, photographer,etc) to run wild & free to do their thing

- spending anytime we could loving our guests 

WEddings like marriage ( & life )

can be easily misconstrued to be made about "whatever I want"

but how much sweeter it is when we take our eyes off "I"

& including/loving the WE.