Upon my arrival he promptly finishes his food & shouts " go " , because I believe he's begun to associate seeing me with going outside to the patio, which seems to be the highlight of both his day & my work day.
All to often -& especially since living in Lancaster - I get caught up in what am I doing with my life, where am I headed, how am I making my life count to shine Jesus' light?
Greg refers to this as "contemplative Thressa".
I absolutely believe it's healthy & necessary to ask ourselves these questions, to keep ourselves on our toes.
& yet there's something so beautiful,and peace filling, that pushes all those questions to the wayside about taking care of EK.
I am reawakened to the small wonders of life that I so easily overlook;
To breath
To see
To hear
To taste
To speak
To laugh
To listen
To observe
To walk
To eat
To feel
The warmth of the sun, the coolness of the breeze rustling the leaves on the trees, the roar of a motorcycle, the vastness of the bright blue sky, the sound of a familiar voice interacting with you.
Wonders I overlook, cause I'm bombarded with the desire to make my life count.
Yet when I'm with EK all those thoughts of making life count submerge, as we sit outside taking in all of the beauty this life has to offer, I just focus on giving him the love we all want as humans & I read to him.
Thankfully he doesn't mind the sound of my voice, because when I read quietly to myself he taps my book to get my attention, until I get the hint that he wants me to read aloud to him.
So I do just that.
This week I've been reading " The Cost of Discipleship" to him, by Dietrich Boenhoffer. Not sure at all what if anything that is read, is being retained -by either him or myself- but I like a read that gives me a little food for thought, that requires some time to marinate, that's still digesting even a little while after it's been consumed.
As I was finishing up the final few sentences of chapter 26, EK said " go go go" , after 3 hours outside he was done in the sun, and was ready go inside to sit in his rocking chair to listen to his music.
We walk inside & a middle aged Hispanic man who works at the establishment starts speaking to me, internally I roll my eyes as I judge this guy because of the next words that come out of his mouth in Spanish "heyy miss you speak Spanish ? You Puerto Rican" . I think to myself ugh can't go nowhere without being hit on, ugh my olive skin tone or whatever it is always is a dead give away that I'm Latina & people think that's a free ticket to come talk to me. But I responded politely in Spanish saying " a little bit but actually I'm Brasilian " . oh great - I thought -now what kinda demeaning statement is he gonna say to me next ,cause I'm Brasilian & unfortunately that's has the tendency to be associated with the maligned assumption to say something shallow & perverse.
I admit, perhaps I was a little cynical, but I was just on guard, annoyed, & was especially not in the mood to be reckoned with.
Then this guy shuts all my thoughts up real quick as I hastily maneuver myself & EK to the elevator .
" This work your doing caring for him, the Lord see's you, continue serving Him"
shocked & humbled by his words I blurted out a " thank you God bless you" in Spanish as I was saved by the need to say anything else because of the elevators arrival, just in the knick of time .
As I rode the elevator, I felt the strong sense to pull out the book & re read te sentences I last read to EK.
"The BEARERS of Jesus bring with them the most precious gift in the world, the gift of Jesus Christ. And with him they bring God the Father,& that means indeed forgiveness + salvation, life + bliss. He who offers a cup of cold water to the weakest & poorest who bears no honourable name, has ministered to Christ himself, and Jesus Christ will be his reward"
Woah.
This is what I'm doing with my life,
This is where I'm headed
shining Jesus' light as I take time to REALLY, TANGIBLY love others.
Today that happens to be EK.
Today I was HUMBLY reminded
to not judge a book due to presupposition,& sometimes as your endlessly searching to serve and share God's love with the world, you subcinciously already are.
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