Why Bother?

Dear Friend,

Let's get real.
Because life is too short to be anything less than raw.

To whom it may concern;

This is for you.
this is for me
a letter.
a letter written to remind us
when we are at our ugliest.

If you've never been at this point
Congratulations! I genuinely applaud & respect you.
truly <3

But for those of us who struggle,
This ones for us.

Often I compare.
It's quite an ugly habit.

U G L Y

It's not a constant, but rather it happens in ebs & flows.

This strange mix of ungratefulness& comparison.

Sad but true, these thoughts invade my mind:

She's more  rich.
She's more famous.
She's more successful.
She's better at this then me.
She's more ________.
Etc.

So why bother?
Why bother cooking?
Why bother writing?
Why bother taking pictures?
Why bother _____.
Etc.

It's a miserable thought process,
a yucky down word spiral,
that I'm not proud of,
because I know better.

But it happens.

 So this entry is an attempt,
  at a counterattack if you will.
To confront the UGLY & knock some sense into this mind of mine,& maybe yours
for times when its marinating in insecurity & defeat.

For you
for me
 for us
who have so many blessings
& too often finds ourselves comparing.

I'm trying to really convey the depth of this ugly attitude.

Wondering why does this person get a, b, & c & not me
I'm just as kind
I'm just as lovely 
I'm just as compassionate

But really the yuckiest part about it
is  when I am so disoriented in the deceitful lies
that I have the nerve to say

" Well what is it God?
Do you love this person more than me?
Why do they get all that?"

I told you it gets pretty ugly

& thats when I realized God saying,
"My love for you isn't based on what I give you
& how DARE you think I love you less than your sister
 just because I bless them differently"

This is a beautiful truth to face,

 I am loved on the basis of WHO GOD IS, not what He gives to me,

yet  having Him is more than enough.

A much needed wake up call, only scratching the surface of this issue.
So I continued to dig...

" Comparison is the Thief of Joy"- Theodore Roosevelt

I've known that quote for a while
& completely agree with it
So surely, according to this quote,
 once I was grateful & content this whole internal struggle of mine, would no longer be an issue.

But yet the issue remained.

You see for myself I've found...
A huge portion of resolving this internal struggle is absolutely found in gratefulness.
but it also consists of the need to keep in perspective why I live.
Because by keeping in perspective why I live  I have an answer to why bother?

When did the notion of needing to be the best at something in order to do it become a necessity?

I will never be the best writer, photographer, or chef.
But I will write, I will capture, I will cook.

What's the point then, if not to be the best?

At first,I thought I do these things because I enjoy them & they enrich my quality of life.
To create is one of the best gifts man kind has been given.

But the truth is, that  reasoning is only a perk not a purpose.

I will write.
I will cook.
I will capture images.

Not to be the best but so that I may boast.
 That I would boast in the Lord and make his name known.

That when people -if anyone- should read, see or taste my creations
they would in actuality be reading,seeing, and tasting the goodness of my Lord.

Because though I'd like to think so
" because it makes me happy" isn't a sufficient reason to keep doing what I love
because I could easily chicken out of doing those things
sadly out of fear of not being the best or being made famous.

BUT when it becomes about "making His name known",
I do what I enjoy wholeheartedly because my perspective is off of me.
When I redirect the why bother to the why I live,
I do what I enjoy - cook,write,photograph,etc. - knowing full well I'm not the best

BUT I choose to not coward out of using my gifts
 because it would be a complete disservice to making Jesus known,if I were to not do them.

So when I  or you or we find ourselves buying into the why bother?
I shouldn't cook or write or photograph or ___________because someone else is better
GET A GRIP!
You don't have to be the Top Chef, Maya Angelou, or _____________

You just have to bother to dare to create,
even if we're not the best
 because you matter.
 
& we matter to boast in Him.

Because we must not define ourselves by
who does what better
who has more
who is more .

Because we are worth somuch more than we could ever imagine,
& to not use the gifts we we were given would be doing a huge disservice to the true BEST there is.

" Watch Out ! Be on your guard against wantingto have more & more things.
 Life is not made up of how much a person has"- Luke 12:15

"Let he who boasts boast in the Lord"

So please my friend DON'T LOSE FOCUS & get distracted with the enemy's nonsense.
DON'T let Him trip you up comparing yourself to the lives of others.
FOCUS ON WHAT YOU HAVE& not what you don't or didn't have.
God has blessed you IMMENSELY with His GREAT ALL CONSUMING LOVE FOR YOU
REVEL in that.
It is your greatest romance, accomplishment, & adventure; BEING LOVED BY HIM.
May you find your identitiy & BOAST in his love all the days of your life.
Don't allow the lies of insufficiency & ingratitude contaminate your thinking & motives.
" Guard your heart with all diligence for it determines the course of your life" Proverbs 4:23

Why bother ? Why bother trying if theres always someone "more" or "better"?
When you find yourself lost as I did, flip your perspective from why bother to why do I live?
& here it is;
 
I live
You live
We live  
not to be the best
 but to use our life 
to BOAST of Christ.

& that has been and forever will be more than enough
 
Rooted in Love,
Mrs.Dreamer Irving