Feeling the Unpretty

Awhile back,
 I posted a photo of myself on Instagram of me crying... okay sobbing. I don't remember the specifics off the top of my head, but I just remember
it was a rough week.
I posted the picture because everyone in this society is {hopefully} well aware that social media has often become a platform for freedom of expression,
& more often then not a platform for people {understandably so}
 to express the pretty. 
So I posted that photo last year to showcase the unpretty on Instagram.
TO SHOWCASE MY HUMANITY.

Sometimes despite all our blessings we are bombarded & bogged down with discouragement.
 We feel;
defeated, angry, jealous,exhausted, annoyed, lonely,
bitter,desperate, and/or downcast.
MAY THESE FEELINGS SERVE AS A REMINDER OF YOUR HUMANITY.

Around the block & around the world these feelings are felt.
Read these words,
 they are raw they are rough but they are REAL,
 nonetheless read & repeat them until they seep deep into your bones,
till you get it through your thick skull,
& it intertwines into the very fiber of your being;

YOU ARE NOT ALONE
THERE ARE MANY MORE  WHO ARE;

CRYING

DISCOURAGED
ANGRY
LOST

JEALOUS
FRUSTRATED
DISAPPOINTED

YOU'RE not THE 1st HUMAN TO FEEL THIS WAY & YOU WONT BE THE LAST

this is your humanity showing 

& in the words of John Green

 "pain demands to be felt"

so if you're mad get MAD, if you're upset CRY

don't hold it all inside

FEEL it 

i just BEG you

that AS YOU FEEL 

KNOW you're not the 1st or only

don't dive into the tides of pride & believe the BOLDFACE LIE 

 that nobody gets it or you.

latch onto that buoy that reads " I'VE BEEN THERE"

somebody else has been there

YES we are all unique & 

YES we ALL truly matter&

YES nobody in this world can be a better you than YOU

but it's a bit POMPOUS & ENTITLED of us

to fall into baloney  trap of

"nobody gets it, nobody gets me, nobody has been where I am at in this way"

With all due respect & ALL the love in my heart;

get over yourself

THESE FEELINGS REVEAL YOUR HUMANITY

congratulations you're a human <3

not only are you not the 1st, only, or last to feel what you're feeling,but

YOU ARE SOMEONE ELSE'S BREATH OF FRESH AIR

that's just this writer's way of saying you & your unpretty feelings matter,

keeping things in perspective, & keeping both YOU and I in check.

I began writing this " Mr. Realist & Mrs. Dreamer" blog
as a means of recording this journey alongside Greg into the unknown that is life
rooted in the love of Christ [ 292 days in =) praise break ] !!!
& I would be doing our future selves a huge disservice
if I did not include the unpretty.

What spurred today's blogpost you say ...
it's simply being home on a friday night 
and Greg { the social introvert} & I { the shy extrovert}
wanting to hangout with friends on a Friday night,
& realizing we don't have that her
& feeling so friendless....
& questioning if we heard our God correctly
& why did He bring us here?
& why strip us of the truest friends we've ever had
that community we had in NJ/NY?
& YES we've started connecting here but those relationships are yet to bloom
& feelings of friendlessness OVERRIDE

so i write.
I write the truth when I am too hardheaded to believe it.
I write to STAY PUT when I just wanna start all over running somewhere new because we haven't made besties in the 2 months of living here.

i write for me focused me & you.
to remind us of our humanity
to remind me that we're not the first newlyweds to move somewhere new
& to grow impatient quickly thinking

"oh great what did we do, 

our21st century instant gratification selves aren't being quenched"

to remind YOU
whoever YOU may be that

Feeling the Unpretty, Showcases our Humanity

& that is a beautiful yet underestimated thing

WE are not the 1st, last, or only to FEEL
be brave enough to FEEL & SHOWCASE YOUR HUMANITY
freeing others to feel
rescuing them from tides of PRIDE & LIES
we can ALL serve as BUOYS to fellow humans that read

I'VE BEEN THERE, 

I'VE FELT THAT,

and I'VE GOTTEN THROUGH IT

so that even as we sit home on a friday night

- which isn't at all a bad gig especially alongside the love of your life -

we can FEEL the unpretty that is FEELING FRIENDLESS

& wait for the day that this situation of showcasing our humanity,

can serve as someones breath of fresh air.